Children and so

I love my children very much and I wanted them so very much. But when I was 16, I felt
I wanted to wait with kids until I was at least 25 or so, I didn't feel ready, I
didn't feel a need to have kids with my boyfriend. He started talking about kids the
first year we were together. He wanted kids right away. It would be best for the kids
to have young parents and I didn't want to be mean to the kids, did I? I managed to
say no until sometime after I was 18. We started trying. I had pains, could hardly
have sex (one of the first things that happened after we met was that I got
vulvodynia) but struggled on. And nothing happened. During this time I actually felt
so horrible and was so unhappy that I broke up with him. But he told me he was sorry
for beeing so controling and that we should start all over again, and even get engaged
again, a new start, and all would be good. I believed him. Since we still didn't get
pregnant, we went to see a specialist. It was discovered that I have PCOS and
treatment began. After a long time and lots of hormones, blood tests and one
operation, our first son was born. And I thougt that now, things would be better.